The Almost-Made-It Hike

Aside from a couple multi-day backpacking trips, almost all the hikes I’ve done have been with my bride of almost 41 years. We’ve been on day-hike trails in Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, New York, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Illinois, Wisconsin, Missouri, Arizona, Utah, California, Alaska, Costa Rica, and Malaysia. Surely, I’m missing somewhere.

Many hikes have been long and challenging. None have been particularly treacherous.

Typically, when we’re headed somewhere for vacation, I’ll check my All-Trails app and see if there are any interesting trails in the area. Usually more than one looks interesting. Of course, that means we need to add the hiking boots, socks, poles, etc. to the packing list. Most of the time, it’s been worth it.

In late winter, while we were deciding whether to go to Zion National Park for our spring vacation, I popped the location in All-Trails to view recommendations. “500 Trails” was the reply. 500?? How on earth do I sort through 500 trails?

All-Trails helps a bit by listing results by user ratings. A few right near the top we ended up doing: Emerald Pools Trail (moderate), Lower Emerald Pool Trail (easy), Kayenta Trail (moderate), Scout Lookout (hard). The Narrows—a trek through, yes, through—the Virgin River piqued my interest and we tentatively planned on it, if the water wasn’t too cold (we ended up opting out).

It’s the first recommendation that caught my attention: Angels Landing. A five-star rating with over 11,000 reviews. A 4.4-mile trail rated “hard.” When we set out on the Scout Lookout trail, I discovered it’s the same trail as Angels Landing, but the latter is an additional half-mile past the lookout.

With a rating like that, well, we just had to do it!

Then I looked at the details. It wasn’t the “hard” rating that gave me pause. It was the warning. If you can’t handle heights, easily get vertigo, better not do this. After all, 13 people have died on this trail since 2004. Need to explore a bit more.

Then I found the YouTube video. “Awesome!” I thought, as I watched. But then, “There’s no way I can let Chris do this!”

A little background

Chris has a lazy eye—which has absolutely nothing to do with her work ethic! But with the required prisms in her eyeglasses, she struggles with depth perception. And then there’s the heights issue.

She hates going over bridges—I mean big ones, like the Mackinaw Bridge or the Sunshine Skyway Bridge.

So, taking these two big issues into consideration, I concluded, “Wow! That’d be a great hike…but not for us, I guess.”

Fast forward to April…in Zion National Park…hiking up the Scout Lookout Trail. From the lookout, Angel’s Landing looms ahead. The path continues a mere 3,000 feet to the landing and some of the most spectacular views to reward the panting hiker! The hike to that point was rightly rated “hard”—1,100 feet elevation gain in about a mile and a half. “Hard” for a post-60 guy, anyway, who spends most of his days in a seated position.

To get to the Landing, simply walk an additional half-mile or so, up another mere 500 feet or so. Seems doable. But…lazy eye…heights…13 deaths…. Sigh.

There we sat, resting from the last hour’s climb, snacking on a Cliff bar, and alternately looking at the incredible view offered by Scout Lookout and the Angels Landing trail. Lots of people all around, taking in the same view. Some had just come down from the landing; some waited for others who journeyed on.

I observed survivors who’d made it. Looked at the trail’s starting point upward—the chains in the side of the trail, the drop-off on the other side, the method of those heading up, the give and take required on the one-lane path. Thought about the comments of others about how worthwhile it was…gotta do it…not as bad as they thought…etc. Recalled reading that Angels Landing is one of the top 10 hikes in the world, a must do.

And there we were.

“Would we really come all this way and not at least try?” I thought to myself. “Would we regret it later?”

My thoughts found their way out of my mouth to my hiking partner.

“Ugh,” she replied, “I knew you were gonna do this to me!”

And then, “Well…I could try it. If I can’t do it, I’ll wait for you if you want.”

Nagging thoughts of lazy eye and vertigo now dismissed for the sake of capitalizing on the present opportunity, we set off, making our way to the first ten-foot section of chain-holds. Got to a stopping point where we had to wait.

The traffic congestion reminded me of the Chicago burbs. Others like us wanted to go up. But a line of successful climbers were making their way down on this one-way trail. So we waited. I was in the lead, so turned around to see how my partner-bride was doing. She was a nervous wreck, almost shaking…then decided she couldn’t go on, would sit down in the only spot large enough to do so, and wait for me to come back down.

“Ok,” I reassured her, “It’ll be fine.”

Then as I started to turn back around and head on up the trail, my foot slipped a bit on the gravel. From her vantage point, it seemed I’d lost my balance and stumbled. I looked back, and her eyes were big as saucers. Then she looked away. I turned back to see if the way was clear to keep moving, and just as I was about to move, another small group appeared blocking the way.

Again I looked back at Chris. This time, when our eyes met, I noticed tears had welled up, and she quickly looked away. She was obviously doing her best to stifle a cry.

I turned back around, looked up the trail. “Now what do I do?!?! Can I really leave her like this?”

Immediately, words I’d recently preached came to mind.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her….”

– Ephesians 5:25

I glanced back at Chris, who couldn’t look my way. I looked back up the trail.

No Debate

I turned around, took the few steps back down the trail to where she was sitting. As she looked up, I said, “C’mon. Let’s go. It’s not worth it.” She didn’t protest.

Here we are, a couple months later. I’ve seen a half-dozen Facebook posts of people who have successfully made it out to Angels Landing and enjoyed their pictures. Enjoyed without envy.

Do I wish I would have done the trail? That’s complicated.

On one level, sure. The experience would make a lasting memory. But on a different, more important level, no. It would’ve taken an hour or so to make it to the landing, take in the view, get some pics, and head back down to where Chris waited (assuming I didn’t fall off the cliff and become #14). And as I would be relishing my once-in-a-lifetime experience, my bride would be sitting on the side of a cliff racked with anxiety.

At the moment—and now months later—it was more than worth it to give up my hiker’s high to deliver her from tormenting fear.

Love doesn’t regret sacrifice for the loved.

Jesus has no regrets giving himself up for His “bride,” the church. My meager sacrifice for my bride is nothing compared to His!