It all started, as I recall, with something like the ol’ cup-of-water-above-the-door prank. For the unenlightened, take a cup of water and rest it on top of a slightly ajar door, then when the next person enters, the cup tips toward the entering party, dousing them with 8 ounces of water.
That, and all that follows, occurred in the late 70s during my junior year at a Christian university. Of course, these are the kinds of things that shouldn’t happen at such an institution—but alas, college kids will be college kids!
Greg, my best friend at the time, and I were roommates my freshman year. We requested nearby rooms sophomore year and became next-door-neighbors. Our junior year found us across the hall from one another. And that’s when the season of prank revenge began.
Perhaps it didn’t begin with the cup trick. It may have been the Vaseline-on-the-doorknob trick.
A little background.
This particular college had some rather stringent rules for on-campus dormitory students, including mandatory lights out. At 10:45, a 15-minute warning bell sounded. At 10:59, came a 1-minute warning. The mad dash to and from the bathroom was quite comical, frankly. By 11:00, everyone was to be in bed, lights out, and quiet. No doubt that all sounds quite bizarre to most readers.
Nevertheless, so it was.
Now, there were exceptional cases. Seniors could go to a designated room in the dorm for “Senior Study Hall” from 11:00-12:00. Students who had on-campus night jobs also received special treatment.
And so did I—on Sunday nights, that is.
Another college student and I were involved in a church ministry about 40 minutes from the campus, and the church had a Sunday evening service. After the service, we typically went to the pastor’s home for a snack before heading back to campus. We had permission to be out until midnight—and we almost always took advantage!
So now you can understand how both the cup and Vaseline trick could work on me. My good ol’ best friend could conspire with a roommate to set up the cup…or he could slather the doorknob with Vaseline. Then when I came traipsing in a few minutes before midnight, “Yuck!!!” or splash.
Anyway, there were a few minor tit-for-tat pranks that we played on one another until things escalated.
Greg’s involved an orange.
Again, background.
In those days, the university didn’t provide an evening meal in the dining common on Sunday evenings. Instead, a sack lunch was delivered to each dorm room.
No joke.
And the contents were generally, um, shall we say, sub-par—white bread, a little tub of peanut butter, a jelly pack (or alternatively, a pimento cheese spread), and a piece of fruit, such as an apple, banana….or orange.
On an orange night, Greg very thoughtfully peeled my orange for me and placed the segments where they would be easily accessible for my midnight snack.
Under my pillow.
Tired and ready for sleep, I crawled into my bunk, rested my head on the pillow, and felt the “squish.”
I was not a happy camper. Especially when I heard my roommates giggling!
This called for revenge!
A few days later, I ran to K-mart for something, and as I approached the checkout, I saw the perfect thing to exact my revenge!
A can of sardines, packed in oil.
Though I was a mostly broke college kid, the $1.25 was deemed a necessary expense. After all, the weapons of warfare require sacrifice if you’re going to win the war! Weapon purchased, I had to figure out a strategy for deployment.
Back in my dorm room, inspiration struck!
All our rooms were identically equipped with two built-in desks, each having a middle drawer and three side drawers—and the drawers came out. With the bottom drawer removed, there was a nice compartment ideal for hiding something. Like an open can of sardines!
How to get them in Greg’s room, you ask? Ah, some more background.
The evening meal on campus was a mandatory, family-style affair that began promptly at 6:00 p.m. A warning bell rang at 5:40, alerting us we needed to make our way to the Dining Common. (Yes, we had a lot of bells ringing!). Everyone vacated the dormitories for dinner—including Greg and his roomies! So, when they left for dinner, one of my roommates and I snuck in their room, quickly removed the bottom desk drawers, opened the can of sardines, divided the contents in two, placed them in the “secret compartment,” returned the drawer, and merrily went on our way to enjoy supper.
Would be ironic if it were a fish dinner—but I don’t remember.
After dinner, back in the dorm, my co-conspirator and I casually went to Greg’s room to hang out for a few minutes, primarily to see if the delightful aroma was yet detectable.
Let me put it this way, one of Greg’s roomies came in the room, screwed up his face like, “What’s that awful smell!?!?” But he apparently reached what he thought was a reasonable conclusion and said nothing.
Another important background detail, involving yet another bell, of course.
Every evening from 7:00-10:00 was a mandatory quiet time, designed to facilitate study—this was college, after all. What else do you do at college besides study?
So when the 6:59 warning bell sounded, the co-conspirator and I left the room—barely able to keep a straight face!
At 10:00, the “all-clear” bell sounded, so co-conspirator and I returned to Greg’s room on a mission.
“Greg,” I declared, “when we were in here earlier we noticed some kind of awful stench & it only seems worse!”
“Yeah,” he said, “I noticed it, too. Just figured [unnamed roommate] needed to do his laundry!”
“Well,” I replied, “we need to get to the bottom of that stink. C’mon, we’ll help!”
And we proceeded to take everything out of overhead cabinets and closets. We removed all the drawers from the built-in dressers. We piled everything in the center of the room.
Nothing.
Last, we started taking out the desk drawers, moving from top to bottom.
And there it was!
“Oh, yuck, man! What in the world is that?” I exclaimed!
Greg inched cautiously toward the secret compartment.
“I…I don’t know…it looks like…smells like….SARDINES!!!! How did those get in there?!?!”
He then turned and saw our smiling faces.
Ha! Prank revenge!
With that, we declared a truce and “prank revenge” ended.
Now all of that was done (mostly) in fun with initial anger at being inconvenienced quickly giving way to laughter and no hard feelings. Greg, after all, was the best man in my wedding 16 months later.
Wait a minute…come to think of it, he may have pulled the last, ultimate prank the night before my wedding! But that’s a story for another day.
Anyway revenge doesn’t usually end so amicably, does it?
Someone makes an unkind or hurtful remark. In revenge, the injured party levels a more stinging, painful retort.
You inadvertently cut off another driver while your attention is focused on something else. His horn blares, and though you try to gesture an apology, he’s on your tail offering you a less-than-gracious gesture!
A verbal tirade answers a parent’s mistaken overreaction…or a child’s thoughtless act is met by a father’s tirade.
A patron exacts revenge on a restaurant for its sub-par service by issuing a scathing review on social media.
Speaking of social media, someone harshly criticizes an opposing political view…only to be met with an even harsher retort.
A socially awkward teenager takes revenge on society for the unkind treatment of his peers by unloading gun magazines at an elementary school…a mall…or a parade.
A regional skirmish turns into an all-out war…and maybe even world war!
One thing the season of “prank revenge” taught me 45 years ago is that someone needs to say “Enough!” or there’s no telling where a vengeful heart will take you!
That’s why this passage from Paul’s writing makes so much sense and needs to be heeded:
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. — Romans 12:18–21 (ESV)
What’s one good thing you can do today to diffuse a potential evil?
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